Instead of constantly seeking acceptance from others, give acceptance to yourself. Accept who you are wholly without reservation. Accept your own brilliant and unique value graciously and gratefully knowing that you are one of a kind. Accept and embrace that. You are inherently worthy, whether anyone explicitly tells you that or not. Give acceptance to yourself, and you will have no need to seek it from others. Accept the goodness that you know is in your authentic nature without hesitation and you will never have to validate yourself for anyone other than you. Accept who you are and revel in it. “The privilege of a lifetime is being and accepting who you are” – Viola Davis
“In the end she became more than she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys , she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going”
Before 2016 was up, I decided to do one thing that I never thought that I would do. I mended a relationship with my Biological Father. After 15+ years of not seeing him, giving excuses as to when I would, why I would not, and giving the “maybe one day” speech a billion times, I decided to give in and do what I preach about all the time. I decided to let the anger, the past, the hurt, the frustration go and just give the guy a chance.
For years I was hurt because 1. I was embarrassed. 2. I wanted the father like you see on T/V. You know, a Cliff Huxtable, an Uncle Phil, a Carl Winslow, a Lester Jenkins, you name it. I wanted this life that I saw on T.V rather than what I actually had. 3. because I really had no man around growing up to tell me how it would be dating, how to deal with men, how to deal with heartbreak, I never went to a father daughter dance, so on and so forth. After letting all that go, and talking, it was … a breath of fresh air.
I am not saying things are perfect, however … I am saying that it can get pretty close to it. I told myself that this year would be the year to just go all in with every aspect of my life and see where it takes me. That was only the beginning.
I can say many cliches as to how this year will turn out. I can name many New Year Resolutions .. but I wont. Because well, let’s be honest … who sticks with those the whole year anyway ?
I will however say, I plan on making this the BEST year yet ! This is the year of Can instead of Can’t. Will instead of Won’t. This is the year of Speaking up and Speaking out. This is the year of not dwelling on the past but making room for the future.
Last year, we all know was hard for me, but I am choosing to look forward. I do not want to die and people remember me for the hardships that I spoke of, but yet making it through them and choosing to live in my truth.
So with all that being said, Cheers to a New Year. Cheers to life. Cheers to change. Cheers to peace. Cheers to painful endings. Cheers to new beginnings. Cheers to Self. Cheers to mending. Cheers to finding love and keeping it. Cheers to whatever and whoever God throws my way. And Cheers to starting anew.
For years, people have told me that I have a gift when it comes to speaking to people, motivating people, encouraging people, being a breath of fresh air in a sense for some. I guess you can say … it’s just been in me forever.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been one to want to help people. To lift people up. To make them feel good. I have always said … if I can’t make myself happy, that’s fine … but if can make someone else’s day, that’s even better.
I took this idea almost a year ago and just started writing. I was going through a really hard time and felt like I had no one to talk to. I was at my most vulnerable state for the longest time. I was really sad, crying everyday and felt like the people I wanted to be there for me were not. I was losing friends, relationships, self-love … you name it. Then again … maybe at that time I was so used to helping others, I forgot how to help myself.
Anyway, that’s when I kept writing, and writing, and writing. My life stories, my good times, my sad times, the times when I couldn’t help myself, the times when I got a good talk from someone that helped, I wrote it all down.
After that .. I let it sit for months. I got sad again … I lost my drive.
Around Mid to late summer, after taking a break, staying off of social media, going to therapy, figuring out why I was lost, why I wasn’t happy … something clicked and I said ” I’m tired of being miserable and sad” that’s literally the moment I decided to “let go and let God”. Once I did that, I promise everything began to go in the right direction. That was my healing moment.
Finally, I asked around about how to create a book. How to turn my stories, my life, my moments into something great and share with other people. How to turn my most negative moments/situations in life into positive.
Now, I’m not saying my life is perfect at all … I still cry. I still think back to my lowest and most heartbreaking moments. I still think back to times where things seemed easier and I had nothing to worry about. However … I am also saying that through it all I am still standing and I am still fighting for continuous peace, love and happiness.
I continue to tell myself that through it all, I am making it, I have made it and will continue to do so. I will not regret where I have come from, or where I am. I will not apologize for pushing myself through and finding my happiness.
God has more in store for me, and this is just my new beginning.
Life is all about progress, growth and change. Who wants to be stagnant and complacent ?? Not Me.
This year has been a true roller coaster for me and I am finally at the point of my life where I have my peace. I have moved on from life’s disappointments, failures, heartbreaks and ultimately found myself.
Moving on from these things have not been easy, yet it has been something that has been a long time coming. It has taken Days, Weeks and Months of tears, of sadness, of reconnecting with God.
I have learned that in life, things may not always go the way we want them to, the road may not be exactly the way we imagined it, but in due time, you are where you need to be. You learn, your grow, you take these things as life lessons and make way for growth and prosperity.
That’s where I am. I no longer have to lie about being happy when in reality, I really am. I don’t have everything I want, but I have what I need right now, and that includes my peace. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s great to have.