Goodbye to the old me. Goodbye 2016.

She was Unsure. Insecure. Not Reassured. The opposite of everything people assumed her to be.

I just want to say that I’m glad you’re gone. I know that might sound harsh, and please don’t take this the wrong way because I am really proud of you. I’m just glad that you seem like a different person to me now. You grew up. You changed. You found yourself again. I hope that you’re proud of who you have become because I finally am.

I’m really glad that I can look in the mirror and smile now. I know that you were never unhappy with yourself, but you weren’t really happy with yourself either. I’m glad that I can see more than the breakouts and split ends when I stand in front of the mirror in the mornings. I’m glad that I can look at myself and see someone smart, funny, caring, and genuine.

You are independent. You are beautiful. You are worthy. I know you never felt that you were — I remember that feeling. People care about you, so don’t worry about where you are now. You will have a few friends that you can talk to for hours, who will stick with you after anything. At the end of the day, you don’t have to worry. Take each day by stride. Live. Laugh. Love. When it’s hard to get up, get up anyway. It’s a new day for you to conquer the world and show what you are made of. When everything around you seems to be falling apart, laugh because that’s the best type of medicine for those who feel broken—you aren’t. When those who try to hurt you do, show them love. Give them the grace that they may not deserve; it may just shock them.

Recently I have learned a lot… I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.

I know that in life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are. And in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn’t be the person we are today. So JUST LIVE. Make mistakes. Have wonderful memories. But never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you are going.

I am beautifully bruised, scarred, and a much better version of myself. So my friend, I hope you understand I had to let go of a huge part of myself, but that was only to let a better part in. You will be missed, and I will always remember the person I used to be.

But still, good riddance, old me.

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The Art Of Letting Go. The Art Of Pressing Forward. The Art Of Moving On.

The Art of Letting Go is a very simple but powerful process that enables you to let go of negative emotions that are holding you back from health, happiness and the accomplishment of your goals. It works on a very simple principle: I am responsible for my emotions and that I choose the thoughts that sustain my emotions.

For the most part, most of us relate to our emotional state as something we have no choice about. Events happen in our lives and it seems to us that it is the events themselves that cause us to feel what we feel. If someone has done something to offend me and I am hurt I say in effect, “You hurt me” or “You made me angry.” And unless the person “changes his ways” or perhaps apologizes then I am stuck with the negative emotion. Human beings have learned a variety of different approaches all motivated by a need to somehow deal with painful or undesirable emotions but mostly to no avail. One approach that we all know well is to suppress and repress our feelings. We believe on some level, “if I can just bury my feelings then all will be well.” But It never works. Repressing our emotions does not make them go away and these emotions continue to have an effect on our lives. They may transform themselves into physical illness and at best leave us with a low-grade unhappiness that colors every aspect of our existence.

There are hundreds of other ways that we go about trying to deal with our emotions. We see certain self destructive or self-defeating behavior in ourselves and others but mostly we are unaware of what motivates these behaviors.  In most self-destructive behaviors, the motivation is typically to help us deal with certain unpleasant or painful feelings. As destructive or negative as certain behaviors are, we can always find a positive function for that behavior and that function is to help us cope with or eliminate unwanted emotions. But sooner or later we discover that certain strategies stop working.

The Art of Letting Go enables you to “step outside” of your emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and images and see them for what they are — thoughts and feelings! Thoughts and feelings are both aspects of one experience. Any experience has these components to it. There are thoughts and there are feelings or simply “thought/feelings” (coined, “thoughlings”). One doesn’t precede the other. They are simultaneous events. Many therapies help you to change your thoughts and beliefs but you may still be living your life inside that realm. Instead of trying to change your thoughts and emotions it is possible to simply let them go. You don’t need to analyze them, you don’t need to figure them out, you don’t need to do anything with them except let them go and that takes no time at all. When you can truly let go of that which brings you unhappiness, then and only then can you replace these emotions with something positive.

Thought of the day: Seeing the positive in a negative

If there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s that we all suffer. We all triumph. We face obstacles in our lives and encounter things that throw us off our course and challenge our inner strength. That’s life, with the lesson often seen in retrospect. Without the difficult times, there would be no great times. Everything would just seem flat and uneventful, plain and boring.

There would be no impactful change without struggle. The beauty of life is overcoming what we think we cannot. Our self-esteem grows and we find strength in ourselves that we never knew existed.

This very point had me thinking about various struggles that I’ve been through in my life thus far. I remember focusing mostly on the negative aspects of the situation. How badly I felt, how crappy the situation was, and how much I didn’t think things would ever change. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a vicious cycle.

But what if we focus on how our struggles change us and our lives for the better?

Ask yourself, would it be possible to improve negative situations, if we thought about how we might benefit from them and turn those negatives into positives ?

Think about it.

– A

2015 : THE YEAR OF HAPPINESS

Someone once said : “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

WELL HELLO 2015 : It’s only been 8 days into the New Year and you have already treated me well. Not because anything significant happened in my life these first 8 days, but because I am alive to see 2015 and that is truly a blessing in itself.

The last week of 2014 was RUFF ! Though many don’t know the things that I went through the last week, I still managed to smile && bring in the New Year with a smile. The last week of 2014, matter-of-fact, 2 days before 2015  something happened that I just couldn’t quite wrap my head around, still can’t but … all I can say is, I have moved past it.

When I brought in the New Year with old and new friends, I vowed at that particular moment, 2015 would be the year of happiness. I stopped making Resolutions a long time ago,because half of the time, I break them. This year, all I want is happiness, all around. Last year, I said the same thing and for the most part, that happened.

This year I don’t want to dwell, I refuse to dwell on anything that doesn’t make me or those around me happy.

I have always been one to want to make everyone happy, and last year at one point in time, I focused so much on everyone else’s happiness, I lost my own for a little bit. I learned it’s Ok to make others happy BUT happiness also starts within yourself and putting yourself first.

This year, I plan on focusing on myself more and my own happiness. I plan on doing things that I have never done before, taking more leaps of faith, standing tall and proud of life decisions I made because I wouldn’t be who I am without them, or where I am now if I didn’t make them.

I am not saying that this year everything is going to be PERFECT, because it won’t be, but … I can say, you can damn sure try to make it that way.

What are your goals this year ? What do you want in 2015 ? What do you plan on doing to make 2015 your year of “Happiness” ? 

– A