Instead of constantly seeking acceptance from others, give acceptance to yourself. Accept who you are wholly without reservation. Accept your own brilliant and unique value graciously and gratefully knowing that you are one of a kind. Accept and embrace that. You are inherently worthy, whether anyone explicitly tells you that or not. Give acceptance to yourself, and you will have no need to seek it from others. Accept the goodness that you know is in your authentic nature without hesitation and you will never have to validate yourself for anyone other than you. Accept who you are and revel in it. “The privilege of a lifetime is being and accepting who you are” – Viola Davis
According to Merriam Webster dictionary it defines trust as the “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something” and “one in which confidence is placed.” But unfortunately, trust can be broken in many ways. We may have been betrayed, mistreated, lied to or hurt by someone such as a partner, family, friend or colleague.
Instead of developing mistrust only for the person who hurt us, we often begin to be suspicious of every person from that point on. To protect ourselves and avoid getting hurt again, we carry our unpleasant memories of that original person with us and displace the distrust onto other relationships. Sometimes it only takes one person to determine that nobody is in fact trustworthy. In the process, we often lose trust in ourselves—simply because our judgment of the person or circumstance was incorrect—and we then wonder how we can believe our own judgment. As a result, we might close our hearts, repress our emotions, and walk around numb or suspicious in relationships.
The problem is, we need to be able to trust in order allow ourselves to fall in love and to feel loved. Yes, we can live our life by carrying our hurt everywhere we go… but not without consequences. The consequences of not trusting (and therefore not feeling) may hurt others who were not responsible for our pain and may deprive us of feeling loved and experiencing emotional wellness. This eventually leads to loneliness, depression, and relationship difficulties.
The first step to recovering our sense of trust is to learn to trust our own judgment and feelings again. When you start to say to yourself; “I trust myself,” you begin to restore faith in your judgment of others and situations, and as a result, you open your heart to love, joy and feeling safe again.
Your troubles can sometimes be your greatest blessings because most of the time they will hound you until you make valuable improvements. Your troubles help you to seek and understand your weaknesses in which that enables you to begin transforming your strengths. See each challenge as an opportunity to raise yourself to a higher level. As like everything else, your troubles are what you make of them. You can choose to make each one a turning point in your life. Many of history’s greatest accomplishments were responses to terrible situations. Choose to find positive possibilities in everything that comes your way and nothing will ever be able to hold you back.
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings”
Forgiveness can most definitely be difficult. (I already know, easier said than done because I have been there and am still working on it) … but …reality is, in the long run, it is easier to forgive than to live with bitterness or contributing retribution. With this, you can move away from the pain of the past, and achieve real freedom. Forgiveness is not about who is to blame, or who’s fault it was, it’s more so about letting go, completely and permanently within yourself. Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has happened and there’s no point in allowing the pain to dominate you any longer. It enables you to move forward in a positive way. Carrying around a load of resentment can be a burden on yourself when if you choose, it does not have to be. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
You can always learn from where you are whether it is where you want to be or not. You can always learn from what you attempt whether it brings you the results you intended or not. Don’t spend a lot of time regretting your mistakes or feel defeated but instead transform them to improve where you may have gone wrong. When things are going well, be thankful and harness your energy and gratitude to keep making things better. When they seem tough, use the energy of your frustration as a catalyst for positive progress. Accept what it is and continue to reach higher. (“There may be many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated” – Maya Angelou)
Conditions, advantages, situations, resources, skills, timing and knowledge are all important factors in what you do, but not nearly as important as your choice to act on them. The conditions may be perfect or they may be awful as hell, in either case and all of the ones in-between, you can get good stuff done. Think about it as a sailing ship. A sailing ship can reach its destination whether that destination is upwind or downwind. The main difference is that the upwind journey providers sailors with more experience. No matter how this day started or how its been going thus far, you can still make progress. Whether good things are falling into your lap or your situation has fallen into disarray, you can move forward. Remember what matters is your choice to get it done and make it through. The wind will shift, the sky will clear and then darken, people will criticize you and then praise you, support you and then oppose you. Through it all, continue to make the choice to act and you’ll make progress in all that you do no matter what.