What a difference 4 years can make. In the midst of the storm … I somehow gained another strength within myself that I never knew I had. 4 years in Houston. WOW. Time flies. Let me just say that the “Grown Woman Au’Vonnie” would not be who she is now without having moved to Houston. Within that time I have fallen but gotten back up many times. Lets see… what have I been through in that time ? Well … went from a great relationship to a not so great one. (But learned to love myself A LOT more during that last little one) 2 car accidents, one which was serious. Took public transportation for a year and a half in the sun, rain, storms. Moved 3 times. Lived with rodents just so I could have somewhere to lay my head. Got my house broken into. Lived off of peanut butter and cup of noodles for months at a time. Made 5 bucks stretch in the bank accounts when deemed necessary. Had some negative bank accounts just so bills could be paid. Denied to my dream school … and then some. However, since then, the come up has gotten much better. I have gone back to school. Written a book. Begun the process of my non-profit and scholarship fund. Traveled to different states and countries. Met new friends. Lost a job but gained a “career” and honestly became a better me. A stronger me. People always tell me that it seems that I have it easy now, but don’t know what is has taken to get here. Lots and lots of tears and setbacks. I still have a long way to go to be exactly where I want to be but I am forever greatful. Greatful that after living in Orlando 5 years ago; me choosing to leave California after that; picking up and leaving everything I was comfortable with and all that I knew to start aknew; All within a span of 9 months. I still laugh at telling my parents “Yeah. I’m moving to Houston, gotta go”. Folks were so mad. That period of time was hard. Best decision I have made to date though. Being stagnant and complacent have never been me. I have always been ok with traveling alone and just up and leaving. The world has so much to offer. Life has so much to offer. I never want to be that person that looks back in years and say “I wish I would have done this or that.” I say all of that to say, seeing the growth of self is dope. Change is dope. Being scared is dope. Living life and learning is dope. I wouldn’t change my experience(s) in my life for anything in the world. It may seem hard during the times when you are going through whatever it is, but the outcome is so much greater.
I love you. Broken. Bruised. Insecure. Scared. These are the things that eventually made you who you are.
Once a blank muse and now a beautiful creation. A masterpiece if you will.
Who knew that within your years of living, you would have gone through so much to mold you into who you have become today.
It wasn’t always roses and beautiful sunsets, yet dark clouds and storms all the way around.
Cold nights and empty spaces.
Cold nights and empty heart.
Lost and confused not sure of what to do.
You made it. You’ve grown.
I love you.
I love you because you are smart. Intelligent. Important. Someone who may have fallen down 10 times, but stood up twice that.
I love you because in-spite of the negativity that may come your way, you choose to fight on. You choose to be prosperous in the middle of the storm.
Although things may not always be easy, you make a way to push through and let nothing stop you.
You are strong. You are more than a conqueror. A concrete rose if you will.
I love you, continue to fight on.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me to be a part of a Unity poem with other women and men expressing our feelings about the world and more so being an African American in it. It was an honor to come together with these talented individuals and write. To bring all of our feelings/thoughts together and become one. I hope you all enjoy. WE hope you all enjoy.
We are a nation awoken by the indifference of an adversary
The burden of corruption keeping our people deeply wary
We progress. We compromise.
but in the end WE all seem to face a demise.
Bullets… drugs… crime…
A number of issues that keep us behind
They attempt to hold us back
But we aim for the stars
Reaching… Ascending… Achieving…
Intelligence on the rise in the minds of the young
The brutal loss of an election that certainly stung
Revolution, revolution, revolution
Working together to build a solution
Do not be afraid of what the future may hold.
We have endured much more than strong winter’s cold.
We are strong, ignited and empowered
And our knowledge is power.
When will we realize we matter?
After another 48 hours of killings
Or when it’s known their pockets are getting fatter?
When will we realize we matter?
The chanting and the marching
Is a great start, but not enough for modern day slavery.
2016 lynchings hidden under labels of suicide
We matter, we matter
Oh yes we matter!
And we matter more and more as the madness intensifies.
Say his name
Say her name
Say your name
And know that you matter
We all matter
Without a hashtag.
The older I get the more I realize I am a strong black woman like Maya Angelou I rise.
It seems like war going on right in front of our eyes, some days it seems like they want us to compromise.
Compromise our dignity, compromise our way of living, compromise the way we speak for what we believe in.
But no. We stand tall. We may fall but we will continue to fight on.
Fight for justice. Fight for peace. Fight for what’s right in our communities. Fight for equality.
We will rise. We will overcome. We will fight until the battle is won’.
Standing up for rights. Standing up for those afraid to speak. Giving all we have, we chant, we just want to be free. Free of hurt, free of pain free of reliving what our ancestors had to bear. Free of seeing our brothers and sisters killed while having their hands in the air begging to have their life spared.
We have never known justice, never known liberty and simply stand and fight for human rights that were taken from WE.
Tired of fighting the same transgressions and refuse to die in the same slavery our ancestors protested
Refusing to compromise our quality of life to simply pacify a people with no conception of what’s right
We will continue to awaken our own, continue to uncover crowns that our oppressors have stole
Enlisting melanated allies to fight for more, our aboriginal powers cannot be torn or taken away
After years of oppression we still shine bright as day, being feed by the sun, glowing and growing with every ray
And we will shout
We will scream
We will cling to our dynasties
Never imagining that freedom bells were covered in love but blood
An element of war
The majesty of black lives will be restored.
A Unity poem by
Auvonnie E. Alexander, LadiRev, Tailand Scott and Viola Constance