Dear Me, I love you.

Dear Me,

I love you. Broken. Bruised. Insecure. Scared. These are the things that eventually made you who you are.

Once a blank muse and now a beautiful creation. A masterpiece if you will.

Who knew that within your years of living, you would have gone through so m2016-05-31-16-42-36uch to mold you into who you have become today.

It wasn’t always roses and beautiful sunsets, yet dark clouds and storms all the way around.

Cold nights and empty spaces.

Cold nights and empty heart.

Lost and confused not sure of what to do.

You made it. You’ve grown.

I love you.

I love you because you are smart. Intelligent. Important. Someone who may have fallen down 10 times, but stood up twice that.

I love you because in-spite of the negativity that may come your way, you choose to fight on. You choose to be prosperous in the middle of the storm.

Although things may not always be easy, you make a way to push through and let nothing stop you.

You are strong. You are more than a conqueror. A concrete rose if you will.

I love you, continue to fight on.

Love,

Me.

Unity Poem

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me to be a part of a Unity poem with other women and men expressing our feelings about the world and more so being an African American in it. It was an honor to come together with these talented individuals and write. To bring all of our feelings/thoughts together and become one. I hope you all enjoy. WE hope you all enjoy.

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We are a nation awoken by the indifference of an adversary

The burden of corruption keeping our people deeply wary

We progress. We compromise.

but in the end WE all seem to face a demise.

Bullets… drugs… crime…

A number of issues that keep us behind

They attempt to hold us back

But we aim for the stars

Reaching… Ascending… Achieving…

Intelligence on the rise in the minds of the young

The brutal loss of an election that certainly stung

Revolution, revolution, revolution

Working together to build a solution

Do not be afraid of what the future may hold.

We have endured much more than strong winter’s cold.

We are strong, ignited and empowered

We matter.

And our knowledge is power.

When will we realize we matter?

After another 48 hours of killings

Or when it’s known their pockets are getting fatter?

When will we realize we matter?

The chanting and the marching

Is a great start, but not enough for modern day slavery.

2016 lynchings hidden under labels of suicide

We matter, we matter

Oh yes we matter!

And we matter more and more as the madness intensifies.

Say his name

Say her name

Say your name

And know that you matter

We all matter

Without a hashtag.

The older I get the more I realize I am a strong black woman like Maya Angelou I rise.

It seems like war going on right in front of our eyes, some days it seems like they want us to compromise.

Compromise our dignity, compromise our way of living, compromise the way we speak for what we believe in.

But no. We stand tall. We may fall but we will continue to fight on.

Fight for justice. Fight for peace. Fight for what’s right in our communities. Fight for equality.

We will rise. We will overcome. We will fight until the battle is won’.

Standing up for rights. Standing up for those afraid to speak. Giving all we have, we chant, we just want to be free. Free of hurt, free of pain free of reliving what our ancestors had to bear. Free of seeing our brothers and sisters killed while having their hands in the air begging to have their life spared.

We have never known justice, never known liberty and simply stand and fight for human rights that were taken from WE.

Tired of fighting the same transgressions and refuse to die in the same slavery our ancestors protested

Refusing to compromise our quality of life to simply pacify a people with no conception of what’s right

We will continue to awaken our own, continue to uncover crowns that our oppressors have stole

Enlisting melanated allies to fight for more, our aboriginal powers cannot be torn or taken away

After years of oppression we still shine bright as day, being feed by the sun, glowing and growing with every ray

And we will shout

We will scream

We will cling to our dynasties

Never imagining that freedom bells were covered in love but blood

An element of war

The majesty of black lives will be restored.

A Unity poem by

Auvonnie E. Alexander, LadiRev, Tailand Scott and Viola Constance

Daddy Lessons and Hello 2017

“In the end she became more than she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys , she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going”

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Before 2016 was up, I decided to do one thing that I never thought that I would do. I mended a relationship with my Biological Father. After 15+ years of not seeing him, giving excuses as to when I would, why I would not, and giving the “maybe one day” speech a billion times,  I decided to give in and do what I preach about all the time. I decided to let the anger, the past, the hurt, the frustration go and just give the guy a chance.

For years I was hurt because 1. I was embarrassed. 2. I wanted the father like you see on T/V. You know, a Cliff Huxtable, an Uncle Phil, a Carl Winslow, a Lester Jenkins, you name it. I wanted this life that I saw on T.V rather than what I actually had. 3. because I really had no man around growing up to tell me how it would be dating, how to deal with men, how to deal with heartbreak, I never went to a father daughter dance, so on and so forth. After letting all that go, and talking, it was … a breath of fresh air.

I am not saying things are perfect, however … I am saying that it can get pretty close to it. I told myself that this year would be the year to just go all in with every aspect of my life and see where it takes me. That was only the beginning.

I can say many cliches as to how this year will turn out. I can name many New Year Resolutions .. but I wont. Because well, let’s be honest … who sticks with those the whole year anyway ?

I will however say, I plan on making this the BEST year yet ! This is the year of Can instead of Can’t. Will instead of Won’t.  This is the year of Speaking up and Speaking out. This is the year of not dwelling on the past but making room for the future.

Last year, we all know was hard for me, but I am choosing to look forward. I do not want to die and people remember me for the hardships that I spoke of, but yet making it through them and choosing to live in my truth.

So with all that being said, Cheers to a New Year. Cheers to life. Cheers to change. Cheers to peace. Cheers to painful endings. Cheers to new beginnings. Cheers to Self.  Cheers to mending. Cheers to finding love and keeping it. Cheers to whatever and whoever God throws my way.  And Cheers to starting anew.

Living Through Christ From A-Z

For years, people have told me that I have a gift when it comes to speaking to people, motivating people, encouraging people, being a breath of fresh air in a sense for some. I guess you can say … it’s just been in me forever.

For as long as I can remember, I have always been one to want to help people. To lift people up. To make them feel good. I have always said … if I can’t make myself happy, that’s fine … but if  can make someone else’s day, that’s even better.

I took this idea almost a year ago and just started writing. I was going through a really hard time and felt like I had no one to talk to. I was at my most vulnerable state for the longest time.  I was really sad, crying everyday and felt like the people I wanted to be there for me were not. I was losing friends, relationships, self-love … you name it.  Then again … maybe at that time I was so used to helping others, I forgot how to help myself.

Anyway, that’s when I kept writing, and writing, and writing. My life stories, my good times, my sad times, the times when I couldn’t help myself, the times when I got a good talk from someone that helped, I wrote it all down.

After that .. I let it sit for months. I got sad again … I lost my drive.

Around Mid to late summer, after taking a break, staying off of social media, going to therapy, figuring out why I was lost, why I wasn’t happy … something clicked and I said ” I’m tired of being miserable and sad” that’s literally the moment I decided to “let go and let God”. Once I did that, I promise everything began to go in the right direction. That was my healing moment.

Finally, I asked around about how to create a book. How to turn my stories, my life, my moments into something great and share with other people. How to turn my most negative moments/situations in life into positive.

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Now, I’m not saying my life is perfect at all … I still cry. I still think back to my lowest and most heartbreaking moments. I still think back to times where things seemed easier and I had nothing to worry about. However … I am also saying that through it all I am still standing and I am still fighting for continuous peace, love and happiness.

I continue to tell myself that through it all, I am making it, I have made it and will continue to do so. I will not regret where I have come from, or where I am. I will not apologize for pushing myself through and finding my happiness.

God has more in store for me, and this is just my new beginning.

Turning Point

Your troubles can sometimes be your greatest blessings because most of the time they will hound you until you make valuable improvements. Your troubles help you to seek and understand your weaknesses in which that enables you to begin transforming your strengths. See each challenge as an opportunity to raise yourself to a higher level. As like everything else, your troubles are what you make of them. You can choose to make each one a turning point in your life.Turning_Point_Sign_COMPRESSED Many of history’s greatest accomplishments were responses to terrible situations. Choose to find positive possibilities in everything that comes your way and nothing will ever be able to hold you back.

Promise Yourself

Promise yourself that you will make the most of priceless moments. Promise yourself that you will direct your attention and your efforts towards things that have real meaning and purpose to you. Promise yourself that you will be yourself, in a loving, authentic, and effective way in all that you do.promise-yourself-860x478 Promise yourself that you won’t waste your valuable time on useless anger, resentment, envy or worry. Remind yourself what an extraordinary opportunity you have in life even on the most ordinary days. Give yourself good and compelling reasons to get up each day and get going in a positive and productive manner. Give yourself great, wonderful, special dreams that are absolutely worth living. Allow yourself to see the beauty in every situation. Tell yourself again, and again how fortunate you are to be able to zero in on the positive possibilities and use them to make a real difference in life. Promise yourself to continue to fill yourself with joy and enthusiasm as you greet life each morning. Promise yourself to make each day meaningful in your own specific way.And lastly, Promise yourself to live, laugh and love life because tomorrow is not promised. Go on that trip. Tell that person you love them. Remind yourself that … (“If you wanna fly, You got to give up the sh** that weighs you down” – Toni Morrison)

Choice to act

Conditions, advantages, situations, resources, skills, timing and knowledge are all important factors in what you do, but not nearly as important as your choice to act on them. The conditions may be perfect or they may be awful as hell, in either case and all of the ones in-between, you can get good stuff done. Think about it as a sailing ship. A sailing ship can reach its destination whether that destination is upwind or downwind. The main difference is that the upwind journey providers sailors with more experience. No matter how this day started or how its been going thus far, you can still make progress. Whether good things are falling into your lap or your situation has fallen into disarray, you can move forward. Remember what matters is your choice to get it done and make it through. The wind will shift, the sky will clear and then darken, people will criticize you and then praise you, support you and then oppose you. Through it all, continue to make the choice to act and you’ll make progress in all that you do no matter what.