Dear Me, I love you.

Dear Me,

I love you. Broken. Bruised. Insecure. Scared. These are the things that eventually made you who you are.

Once a blank muse and now a beautiful creation. A masterpiece if you will.

Who knew that within your years of living, you would have gone through so m2016-05-31-16-42-36uch to mold you into who you have become today.

It wasn’t always roses and beautiful sunsets, yet dark clouds and storms all the way around.

Cold nights and empty spaces.

Cold nights and empty heart.

Lost and confused not sure of what to do.

You made it. You’ve grown.

I love you.

I love you because you are smart. Intelligent. Important. Someone who may have fallen down 10 times, but stood up twice that.

I love you because in-spite of the negativity that may come your way, you choose to fight on. You choose to be prosperous in the middle of the storm.

Although things may not always be easy, you make a way to push through and let nothing stop you.

You are strong. You are more than a conqueror. A concrete rose if you will.

I love you, continue to fight on.

Love,

Me.

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Insecurities

To say that I don’t have insecurities, I’d be lying. Who doesn’t? I believe that even the most famous people in the world may feel this way or have felt this way before about one thing or another.

Have you ever had that one thing that triggered your insecurity and made you feel lower than usual ?

Don’t get me wrong, I know that I am a beautiful woman, I know that I am blessed beyond measure when it comes to certain things, but …. I tend to find myself digging up those insecurities that I thought I got rid of long ago.

I never like to say it aloud, I never want to admit it, because when you say you’re “insecure” one may take you as weak, and that is one thing that I believe I am not. I am secure in many areas as well as strong in many ways….

But … today, I have come to realization that this is something that comes and goes with me. One minute I feel on top of the world and the next, I find something wrong, and I HATE that!

I have my moments to where I just want to cry because I want to bury these things and have them never arise again.

Is this something that comes along with being a woman ? or being a human being in general ? Is this something that everyone deals with at some point in their lives ? I just want to know. I just want to know that I am not alone with feeling this way.

On the outside, it’s funny because I stand strong, tall and confident to many, but on the inside, I feel beautiful as a butterfly but weak as one that will eventually succumb.

Being insecure is something that I am not proud of by far. It’s something that I don’t want to admit to, but I am admitting it. As a woman, it’s something that I want to overcome. I will be 25 soon, and I want this to be something that I can leave behind me. I want to stand tall, confident and proud. I want to know and understand that it’s ok to feel this way because everyone is insecure about something but it’s also ok to know that I am fine. I am more than I give myself credit for. It’s ok. I will be ok. Everything will be ok.

-A

Be YOU. YOU ARE enough.

All my life I have been told that I am beautiful, I am pretty, I am unique. Great compliments right???

BUT….

Although all of this was said….it took a long time to believe. Of course, we all may have a few insecurities but for years…. my insecurities surpassed most. I didn’t like what I saw. I didn’t think that I was this beautiful young woman that people claimed I was.
I was so insecure with myself, I was so unhappy at what was looking back at me, I didn’t think twice, I came to terms that I  was just another average girl.

Maybe this had to do with all of the taunting that I received from certain people, maybe this had to do with being infatuated with the women in the magazine’s …. maybe it was Just me going through the growing pains in life.
It took a while for me to realize that God made everyone a certain way, he made us all beautiful in our own ways.
For a long time, I dressed a certain way,.I tried to look a certain way to “fit in” with the crowd. After a while, I just didn’t care anymore. If people were going to like me…they would, If they didn’t….then fine. I began to ‘re acquaint myself with the term” self love”  . I had to ‘re evaluate what I was looking at, and WHOM I was looking at and realized I had to be ME. I didn’t have to do the most to fit in. I had to tell myself” YOU ARE ENOUGH” .
A lot of us today tend to down play how special we are but this is something that we need to instill in our brains. We ARE good enough. Don’t change for anyone. BE YOU.