Daddy Lessons and Hello 2017

“In the end she became more than she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys , she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going”

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Before 2016 was up, I decided to do one thing that I never thought that I would do. I mended a relationship with my Biological Father. After 15+ years of not seeing him, giving excuses as to when I would, why I would not, and giving the “maybe one day” speech a billion times,  I decided to give in and do what I preach about all the time. I decided to let the anger, the past, the hurt, the frustration go and just give the guy a chance.

For years I was hurt because 1. I was embarrassed. 2. I wanted the father like you see on T/V. You know, a Cliff Huxtable, an Uncle Phil, a Carl Winslow, a Lester Jenkins, you name it. I wanted this life that I saw on T.V rather than what I actually had. 3. because I really had no man around growing up to tell me how it would be dating, how to deal with men, how to deal with heartbreak, I never went to a father daughter dance, so on and so forth. After letting all that go, and talking, it was … a breath of fresh air.

I am not saying things are perfect, however … I am saying that it can get pretty close to it. I told myself that this year would be the year to just go all in with every aspect of my life and see where it takes me. That was only the beginning.

I can say many cliches as to how this year will turn out. I can name many New Year Resolutions .. but I wont. Because well, let’s be honest … who sticks with those the whole year anyway ?

I will however say, I plan on making this the BEST year yet ! This is the year of Can instead of Can’t. Will instead of Won’t.  This is the year of Speaking up and Speaking out. This is the year of not dwelling on the past but making room for the future.

Last year, we all know was hard for me, but I am choosing to look forward. I do not want to die and people remember me for the hardships that I spoke of, but yet making it through them and choosing to live in my truth.

So with all that being said, Cheers to a New Year. Cheers to life. Cheers to change. Cheers to peace. Cheers to painful endings. Cheers to new beginnings. Cheers to Self.  Cheers to mending. Cheers to finding love and keeping it. Cheers to whatever and whoever God throws my way.  And Cheers to starting anew.

What’s Harder … Falling IN love or falling OUT of love ? Why ? …

Someone asked a good question yesterday … They said ” What’s harder … Falling IN love or Falling out of it, why ? ” …

I actually had to sit back and think for a second until I was actually able to answer the question.

From previous experiences I have had my take on both sides, Falling In love and falling out of it.

I would say falling IN love is easy, staying in love is the hard part. I say this because I feel that in the process of falling in love, BOTH do what it takes to make it work which can make it easy to fall in love.. It’s new, it’s fresh. Once in love one starts to slack on time spent..slack on communication..slack on trust.. slack on sacrifice.. slack on commitment.. slack on togetherness.. slack on the friendship you once had BEFORE falling IN love, which ultimately results in lost love.

 A Relationship takes TWO people working together on the same big picture all the time 24/7 No Days Off!!.. Falling OUT of Love is really only hard to the one who was wanting to stay and work it out..The one who walks away and leave they were already done loving you. 

So I ask ? What are your opinions on this ? Which is harder IN or Out ? You choose ….

 

-A