“In the end she became more than she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys , she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going”
Before 2016 was up, I decided to do one thing that I never thought that I would do. I mended a relationship with my Biological Father. After 15+ years of not seeing him, giving excuses as to when I would, why I would not, and giving the “maybe one day” speech a billion times, I decided to give in and do what I preach about all the time. I decided to let the anger, the past, the hurt, the frustration go and just give the guy a chance.
For years I was hurt because 1. I was embarrassed. 2. I wanted the father like you see on T/V. You know, a Cliff Huxtable, an Uncle Phil, a Carl Winslow, a Lester Jenkins, you name it. I wanted this life that I saw on T.V rather than what I actually had. 3. because I really had no man around growing up to tell me how it would be dating, how to deal with men, how to deal with heartbreak, I never went to a father daughter dance, so on and so forth. After letting all that go, and talking, it was … a breath of fresh air.
I am not saying things are perfect, however … I am saying that it can get pretty close to it. I told myself that this year would be the year to just go all in with every aspect of my life and see where it takes me. That was only the beginning.
I can say many cliches as to how this year will turn out. I can name many New Year Resolutions .. but I wont. Because well, let’s be honest … who sticks with those the whole year anyway ?
I will however say, I plan on making this the BEST year yet ! This is the year of Can instead of Can’t. Will instead of Won’t. This is the year of Speaking up and Speaking out. This is the year of not dwelling on the past but making room for the future.
Last year, we all know was hard for me, but I am choosing to look forward. I do not want to die and people remember me for the hardships that I spoke of, but yet making it through them and choosing to live in my truth.
So with all that being said, Cheers to a New Year. Cheers to life. Cheers to change. Cheers to peace. Cheers to painful endings. Cheers to new beginnings. Cheers to Self. Cheers to mending. Cheers to finding love and keeping it. Cheers to whatever and whoever God throws my way. And Cheers to starting anew.