Living Through Christ From A-Z

For years, people have told me that I have a gift when it comes to speaking to people, motivating people, encouraging people, being a breath of fresh air in a sense for some. I guess you can say … it’s just been in me forever.

For as long as I can remember, I have always been one to want to help people. To lift people up. To make them feel good. I have always said … if I can’t make myself happy, that’s fine … but if  can make someone else’s day, that’s even better.

I took this idea almost a year ago and just started writing. I was going through a really hard time and felt like I had no one to talk to. I was at my most vulnerable state for the longest time.  I was really sad, crying everyday and felt like the people I wanted to be there for me were not. I was losing friends, relationships, self-love … you name it.  Then again … maybe at that time I was so used to helping others, I forgot how to help myself.

Anyway, that’s when I kept writing, and writing, and writing. My life stories, my good times, my sad times, the times when I couldn’t help myself, the times when I got a good talk from someone that helped, I wrote it all down.

After that .. I let it sit for months. I got sad again … I lost my drive.

Around Mid to late summer, after taking a break, staying off of social media, going to therapy, figuring out why I was lost, why I wasn’t happy … something clicked and I said ” I’m tired of being miserable and sad” that’s literally the moment I decided to “let go and let God”. Once I did that, I promise everything began to go in the right direction. That was my healing moment.

Finally, I asked around about how to create a book. How to turn my stories, my life, my moments into something great and share with other people. How to turn my most negative moments/situations in life into positive.

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Now, I’m not saying my life is perfect at all … I still cry. I still think back to my lowest and most heartbreaking moments. I still think back to times where things seemed easier and I had nothing to worry about. However … I am also saying that through it all I am still standing and I am still fighting for continuous peace, love and happiness.

I continue to tell myself that through it all, I am making it, I have made it and will continue to do so. I will not regret where I have come from, or where I am. I will not apologize for pushing myself through and finding my happiness.

God has more in store for me, and this is just my new beginning.

I’ve got a testimony

It’s amazing how God works and how things come in full circle when it’s time. Someone once said to me “Timing is Everything” and ” life’s three best teachers are : Heartbreak, Empty Pockets and Failure.” TRUE.

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This time last year, believe it or not, I was going through one of many hardships. From November of last year to November of this year. It was not all bad, however … it was quite close.

Emotionally, I was drained, Physically, I was out of it, Mentally … tuh … barely there.

People who know me know that when I am happy, I am HAPPY and it shows, but when I am going through something, I am much more quiet and reserved. That was me all year. Here and there you would see a smile, but majority of the time, you barely saw me at all.

I did not know who I was, I lost myself, I let myself go, I questioned myself multiple times and I was at the point to where I did not want to be seen or talk to anyone anymore.

I hated my “job” and got too comfortable, too stagnant and complacent. I was upset because I didn’t have the “Career” I wanted and quite frankly, I stopped working to reach it because I was just so tired. A relationship that was near to my heart ended and that happened at the worst possible time. I lived in a place that I was not comfortable in and had so much negative energy I could barely think straight. I started to act out, be out of character and did things that I regret because I was in a space where I felt I could not reach out to anybody because I was ashamed.

How could this woman who preached and teached to others about positivity, being happy and letting things go, letting go and letting God, speaking on letting time take it’s course quoting every cliche and bible verse you could think of  do this ? … Why is it when it came to myself, all of that was out of the window ?

It took a lot of self – evaluation, a lot of reconnecting to God, a lot of crying, a lot of realizing you can’t allow yourself to fall, a lot of letting go of blaming others, a lot of self- forgiveness, a lot of meditating and praying, a lot of conversations with myself saying “you got this. it’s not the end” a lot of, “you’re more than this, you’ll be ok” a lot of, “ok, no more moping, get up” … and then some.

I say all that to say, one year later … I have a new Career, I have a new home,  I have a book on the rise, I have new relationships, I have new found Confidence and I have Peace with where I am. Never allow yourself to stay down for long. Allow yourself the time you need to heal and get back up and keep going. It may feel like you can no longer go on, but you can.

Things may not be in the exact order in life that you want them, things may happen unexpectedly, but … You are more than your fears. You are more than a Conqueror. Keep fighting and keep believing that no matter how many times you may fall you can get back up and know that greater is coming.

I am a fighter. I am a survivor and I will keep on going until I take my last breath.

So, cheers to closing my eyes to old ends and continuing to open my heart to new beginnings.

Stop Comparing, Start Living

Most of us understand the foolishness of trying to compare ourselves to others. We would readily admit that no good ever comes from it. Yet, whether we are comparing our home size, paycheck, physical features, or any number of measurable (and even unmeasured) things, we do it all the time.

 

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Even though we know there are inherent problems contained in the process:

  1. We most often compare the wrong things. Because we can most easily compare the things that we can objectively measure, we live in a world that is great at measuring and comparing externals. Somewhere along the way, we decided that we could determine who is living a more valuable life by comparing clothes, cars, homes, paychecks, beauty, or Twitter followers. But externals are rarely a good measure. Net-worth has never been a good indicator of self-worth.
  2. We always compare our worst with their best. Comparing your life with others is always a losing proposition because there will always be people who “appear” to be better off than you and seemingly live the perfect life. After all, we always compare the worst of what we know about ourselves to the best assumptions that we make about others. Be advised, their life is never as perfect as your mind makes it out to be.
  3. There is no end to the comparison game. There is an infinite number of categories upon which you can compare yourself… and an almost infinite number of people to compare yourself to. Once you start down that road, you will never, ever find an end.
  4. Life isn’t graded on a curve. How you measure up against others holds absolutely no importance in your life anyway. It simply makes no difference. The goal of life is not to be better than 50% of the other people on the planet. The goal of life is to be the best you that you can possibly be.
  5. Comparison puts your focus on the wrong person. You can control one life – yours. When we consistently compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.
  6. Comparison robs you of joy. Comparing yourself to others will always cause you to regret what you aren’t, rather than allow you to enjoy who you are. It will always steal the joy and happiness that is within your reach… and place it just outside of your reach instead.

Many a contented life has surely been stolen by the unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves to others. Comparing ourselves to others will always rob us of gratitude, joy, and fulfillment.

But even more than than, it prevents us from fully living our lives. It calls us to envy someone else’s life and seek theirs rather than ours. It is robbing us of our most precious possession: life itself. And while the temptation to compare may never be completely eliminated, there are certainly some practical steps that we can take to move past it. Consider a few of these:

1. Recognize the inherent problems in comparing yourself to another.Take a good look at the list above. Why would we want any habit in our life that promotes feelings of inferiority? Or consistently promotes envy, competition, and strife with no end in sight? Sometimes, just a reminder of the foolishness contained in the habit is the most important step in overcoming it.

2. Celebrate who you are. There are many wonderful things about your life. You are an artist… or a businessman… or a mother… or a good listener… or a generous soul. You have much to celebrate and are entirely unique. Any comparison between you and another person is like comparing apples to oranges. They aren’t living your life, you are. Therefore, you should expect the results to be completely different.

3. Focus inward. Value generosity, humility, goodness, kindness, and love. Begin to focus on developing the inward qualities of a simplified life and the externals will lose their beauty. And the quicker we find beauty on the inside, the sooner we’ll stop comparing things on the outside (skin-deep beauty, paychecks, or power).

4. Realize life is not a competition. There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. And the sooner we stop competing against others to “win,” the faster we can start working together to figure it out.

5. Remember that nobody is perfect. We live in a society that glamorizes perfection. Consider that magazine racks are full of models and celebrities with perfect faces telling one-sided stories of great triumph and fulfillment. One important step to avoiding the lure of comparison is to remember that one snapshot in time never tells the whole story. The story is never told of the hours in a make-up room or the photo editing technique to cover the blemishes. The story is rarely told of their insecurities or failures (except to mention how they overcame them). That story doesn’t sell nearly as many magazines. But the truth remains: there are no perfect people – including you and including me.

6. Live as intentional as possible. Too many people live their lives without intentionality or thought. They rarely find a quiet moment to sit in meditation or solitude and examine their life – who they are and who they are becoming. As a result, lives are lived as a reaction to the events around them. But when a life is lived intentionally and thoughtfully, the comparison game becomes less attractive.

As humans, it is in our nature to compare ourselves to others. But nothing good ever comes from it. So let’s stop comparing ourselves to others. We were not born to live their life. There is no sense wasting our life (or energy) being jealous of theirs. Instead, let’s start living our lives. Let’s determine today to be good at it. After all, we only get one shot.

Miss. Moving On

Life is all about progress, growth and change. Who wants to be stagnant and complacent ?? Not Me.

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This year has been a true roller coaster for me and I am finally at the point of my life where I have my peace. I have moved on from life’s disappointments, failures, heartbreaks and ultimately found myself.

Moving on from these things have not been easy, yet it has been something that has been a long time coming. It has taken Days, Weeks and Months of tears, of sadness, of reconnecting with God.

I have learned that in life, things may not always go the way we want them to, the road may not be exactly the way we imagined it, but in due time, you are where you need to be. You learn, your grow, you take these things as life lessons and make way for growth and prosperity.

That’s where I am. I no longer have to lie about being happy when in reality, I really am. I don’t have everything I want, but I have what I need right now, and that includes my peace. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s great to have.

Trust Yourself

According to Merriam Webster dictionary it defines trust as the “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something” and “one in which confidence is placed.” But unfortunately, trust can be broken in many ways. We may have been betrayed, mistreated, lied to or hurt by someone such as a partner, family, friend or colleague.

Instead of developing mistrust only for the person who hurt us, we often begin to be suspicious of every person from that point on. To protect ourselves and avoid getting hurt again, we carry our unpleasant memories of that original person with us and displace the distrust onto other relationships. Sometimes it only takes one person to determine that nobody is in fact trustworthy. In the process, we often lose trust in ourselves—simply because our judgment of the person or circumstance was incorrect—and we then wonder how we can believe our own judgment. As a result, we might close our hearts, repress our emotions, and walk around numb or suspicious in relationships.

The problem is, we need to be able to trust in order allow ourselves to fall in love and to feel loved. Yes, we can live our life by carrying our hurt everywhere we go… but not without consequences. The consequences of not trusting (and therefore not feeling) may hurt others who were not responsible for our pain and may deprive us of feeling loved and experiencing emotional wellness. This eventually leads to loneliness, depression, and relationship difficulties.

The first step to recovering our sense of trust is to learn to trust our own judgment and feelings again. When you start to say to yourself; “I trust myself,” you begin to restore faith in your judgment of others and situations, and as a result, you open your heart to love, joy and feeling safe again.

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Lost and Found

Sometimes getting a little lost is the best way to find your true self. You can discover new paths you would have otherwise missed if you stayed in one direction, stumble onto new ideas you would have never imagined, reignite a spark you once lost and even recognize what you love and what you hate. During this time you can learn to understand what you’re truly capable of as well as face your deepest fears and insecurities. Sure, getting lost can make you feel angry, scared, uncomfortable and confused, but it can also be an eye-opening experience if you let it be. Realize that because you chose to carry on as the unrelenting hero and not the victim, you have already won.

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Turning Point

Your troubles can sometimes be your greatest blessings because most of the time they will hound you until you make valuable improvements. Your troubles help you to seek and understand your weaknesses in which that enables you to begin transforming your strengths. See each challenge as an opportunity to raise yourself to a higher level. As like everything else, your troubles are what you make of them. You can choose to make each one a turning point in your life.Turning_Point_Sign_COMPRESSED Many of history’s greatest accomplishments were responses to terrible situations. Choose to find positive possibilities in everything that comes your way and nothing will ever be able to hold you back.