As I have gotten older, I have realized how crucial it is to take time out of your busy schedule to reflect, to meditate and to even pray. Often, too many of times, when we have time to think, it’s generally about the negative things that have gone on in our lives – and rarely do we think about the good things. Personally, I can admit that has been me one too many times.
As I have reflected this morning, the thought that came across my mind was the moment I found my smile again. The moment I found my happiness.
This time last year, while I was smiling on the outside, the inside of me was so sad for many reasons. Me being me, I never let people see that part of me. It took something in my life to happen, to click, for me to realize I did not want to be this way and/or feel this way anymore. It took me breaking down so many times to remember that trials in life happen and moving forward and letting go of the past is needed. Sometimes in life it takes one thing to force you to finally say “I’ve had enough of my own sadness” “I’ve had enough of my own pity party” to lead you to your smile. In that moment, I realized I wanted to be happy. I wanted to genuinely smile and mean it. You can only be happy when you allow yourself to be. You can only smile because you choose to. You cannot allow other people to generate that for you.
Things could be worse than what they really are so there is no need to bring more pain to yourself when it doesn’t have to be that way.
I found my smile again in April of this year. It literally took months for me to find it again but it happened and it’s genuine. I have accomplished so much more now than I did this time last year because I decided to love me and smile for myself. I decided that “self pity” does not look good on me. I wear my smile bold and proud and with all of the confidence in the world.
Remember, “Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through tears”.